Today I start my morning with another one of Don Miguel Ruiz Four Agreements as inspiration.
Don’t make assumptions – “Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.”
Walking my journey with chronic pain and illness has taught me a lot about this particular agreement and the danger of buying into the full blown drama of making an assumption about anyone or anything.
You see my greatest bug bear on my path has has been my relationship with my body and how I come to terms with the weight fluctuations due to the medications and imbalances that are part and parcel of what I am challenged with with my disease and drug protocols.
In the “real world” however people mostly live their lives based on what they assume or perceive to be the truth without understanding or taking the time to get to know you. You are judged on how you look, what you earn and how you fit into their little box of perception. The foundation based of pure assumption unless they take the time to ask you who you are and what makes you tick. Which I am sad to say is not often the case.
One of the most challenges issues for me walking with this myriad of diseases and living in a world filled with judgement and preconceived ideas of acceptance and perfection has been learning to just love and appreciate my body for what it is in the now. I have wasted too many hours , too many tears and too much valuable energy on what people think of me and assume about my weight and my body.
I am a powerful, beautiful, intelligent women walking a journey that requires my full energy and focus on getting better. What people think of me has nothing to do with me. Any assumption by anyone not living my reality and judgement thereon is literally their movie and their “Stuff”.
Part of my challenge with my illness is that often due to lung infections and other complications I have to take large doses of cortisone and I blow up and pick up weight which frustrates the hell out of me. What I have realised in this latest 3 week journey in hospital is that I simply choose to surrender to the process and do the best I can under the current circumstances. I have had time to accept that I no longer choose to associate or be around people who make judgements or assumptions about who I am based on what I look like or how I conveniently fit into their world.
Don’t get me wrong I am very blessed to be surrounded by many wonderful, genuine people who get me and take time and care to understand my journey. I also have friends who don’t get the reality or complexity of my journey as it is just too much to understand but it doesn’t make them love or care for me any less. So in essence my biggest challenge is with acceptance of the “is-ness” of whatever space I am in in that moment is me and how I choose to work with it in that moment.
I choose to accept that I have a few rather challenging results that are complicated and frustrating and need to be balanced with all my focus and care if u am able to survive and thrive through this.
I choose my well being as the priority and to honour my needs in the present moment one day at a time. I choose to be body positive and just love every curve, every bump and ever part of the body I have in the now as I am Alive and that after the last 3 weeks is the real miracle.
I ask you today as you start your day to take a second and think before you make and assumption about anyone and the journey they may be walking. Just take the time to be kind or smile at someone or smile at yourself and just love yourself as you are as that really is all that matters.