Thank You for having my back

There are a few words and phrases in my vocabulary that I find challenging in real terms. However Rest and Recovery seem to be hard words for me to contextually put into perspective. I am used to going at 300km an hour and thrive outdoors in nature with my dogs, SUP Board, family and friends. I am not very good at lying still and being quiet and resting.

I however have had NO choice this time round as I have literally been hit from every angle. I normally negotiate or do “trade exchanges” with my ologists to go home and recover in my own space.

This time however I have literally had to practice what I am great at preaching and that is to simply surrender, listen and do what I need to do to reach that final stage when I can go home.

Through this journey however I have had so much time to truly realize how well my friends and family know me. How they know that in order for me to stay sane I need very little but I need connection, color, laughter, love and understanding.

I have been blessed with all of those in abundance this week. I have a room filled with brightly colored flowers. I have been brought all the most incredible healthy snacks , I have my special pillows from home so that I can support my body better, I have my journal so that I can write and process what’s going on and I have an utter abundance of love from every single person who is helping me recover.

The amazing thing is that not only have got these “things” but I have gotten the most incredible emotional support I could ask for because believe you me 17 days of being in a hospital bed with searing pain is not fun for anyone.

Today I must say that the trauma of what I have gone through definitely caught up with me and I am completely shattered. With the auto immune diseases I have, I have a biologics infusion every 7 weeks. What this infusion does for me is prevent my immune from attacking my joints and nerve tissue causing chronic pain and rendering me pretty immobile as it becomes very challenging find to walk.

When you have an infection in your body you cannot infuse as it literally switches your immune system off. To fight infection you need the immune system to do this job. It’s all very complicated and in my case especially challenging for the doctors as each of my issues compacts on another issue and standard solutions can’t be applied.

No one ever accused me of being an under achiever and like in everything in life I am certainly a unique challenge for the doctors but am going all I can to get better and heal bu just surrendering to what my body needs.

So as I end my day today I end it with gratitude and appreciation of all my amazing friends, family and medical staff for helping me to just heal so that I can once get up and get moving.

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