Growing up I was blessed with a Mom who always said if you don’t let it go it doesn’t flow. The last 9 years of my life have been some of the most challenging years for my Health I have experienced. However I must say in the same breathe they have been the most rewarding years for personal growth I have ever had.
Being diagnosed with a myriad of autoimmune diseases and their constant challenges has been a true test of resilience and determination. I have moments where the pain and infections feel bigger than me and become all consuming. I however have worked hard not to let these moments define me or allow me to slip into victim mode.
Now don’t get me wrong I am not in any way a saint or some brilliant guru who easily is able to simply surrender and release to the process but I am getting a lot better at it over the years. There are some days where I feel completely pissed off and emotionally drained. It is on those days that I find myself digging the deepest into my faith and connection to Great Spirit and reminding my self that I am simply a Spiritual being having a human experience.
I know that there are a lot of folk who don’t get that part of my journey. Especially my Atheist or agnostic friends. And that’s ok really. You see the greatest part of being human and our greatest blessing in life is the right to choice and to believe what reasonates with us individually.
I truly do pray for the day that people in this world come to terms with acceptance and non judgment. This world desperately needs a bit of that. To sit in this place is to sit in complete acceptance of yourself and where you stand in the world. It is a place of complete self love and understanding and that is the foundation to a peaceful loving world.
If each and everyone of us could simply be in the “is ness” and accept that we were designed as humans to choose what made our souls smile and how we experience the world, we may stop trying to convince one another that “OUR” way is the right or only way and simply accept that what works for me may not work for you and that’s ok. It just is.
Over the last 18 days I have been challenged with a combination of excruciating infections. It started in my teeth, spread to my jaw, eye, ear, sinus and then the dreaded lungs! When these infections land up in my lungs it pretty quickly turns to pneumonia and that is never fun. It’s exhausting and it can really make me mad.
To be ill during the “festive” season definitely has allowed me to unpack a lot of how I have been using my energy and focus of late. It has given me quiet time to reflect on what and who I choose to move forward with into 2019 which in essence is a great blessing.
We as humans use SO much time and energy focusing on being what we think is needed of us by the guidelines set up through society and beliefs systems.
We consume media at a rapid rate daily as advertisers now specifically send targeted advertising to plug into our habits and algorithms. And so often we buy into the “guided and manipulatated” messaging thinking we need whatever they are selling us.
The reality however is that what we really need is more down time, more quality time, more self investment time. When you get ill a lot like I do you gain substantial insight into what it is you truly NEED in life. You connect with the people and things that add value to your world. The rest is just noise and drains your valuable energy.
So this year as I sit here in my hospital bed for the first time in 2019 I reflect on what I shall be focusing on for the year. I am mindful of where focus goes energy flows and with that in mind I am leaving behind all those things and people that drain me and am embracing all those things and people that I have a mutual, healthy energy exchange with.
I ask you to take the time out and do the same for yourself. Ask yourself if you are happy and If you are doing what makes your soul smile. And if not work out what will make your soul smile and take small (or big) changes to bring this into your reality.