Get out of your Head and into your Heart

This morning as I start my day I do so by counting my blessings. Over the last few days I have received news of so many people suffering and struggling with illness and various challenges that seem insurmountable.

What I have learnt over the last 8 years of living with my combination of chronic illnesses and challenges is the importance of belief and hope. I have learnt that getting out of your head and into your heart is essential in these times.

In life we have a tendency to slip into the dark spaces and get sucked in the drama of what is happening in the moment and worrying about what may happen in the next moment when things are tough or challenging. It is however so important to simply stop and breathe in these moments. Just breathe and find hope and gratitude in whatever way you can in that moment.

I know I sound cliche and “airy fairy”, however I practice this on a daily basis and believe me it does work and does settle the mind. The most important thing to do in these challenging situations is to stop over thinking things and simply apply focus where you want your energy to flow.

I don’t always get this right believe me but I have begun to practice an attitude of gratitude wherever possible and focus my energy in a way that channels my thoughts towards things, places and people that make my soul smile.

I do not ignore the emotion or feeling in the moment I simply acknowledge it and give it space to be what it needs to be, but I set myself a time limit for the anger, frustration, or sadness. Then when my time limit is up I do something immediately that makes my soul smile.

For me that normally means getting into nature and connecting with the beauty that surrounds us in nature. It’s freely accessible and some of the greatest artwork around. It fills my soul with joy and gives my body life and purpose.

So today I ask you to take time to get out of your head and into your heart. Find the things that you love and give them appreciation and gratitude. “Where focus goes energy flows”. So in these trying challenging times take your focus away from fear and lack and send it to the abundance of what you are blessed with in your life.

The Hamster Wheel

Winter for me is like being on a hamster wheel that spins out of control regularly. Week 11 of infections and extreme inflammation, chronic pain and borderline desperation. That is the best way to describe this journey that feels endless and unrelenting.

This week I was super enthusiastic to get back on my board and start paddling again with hope that my knee, spine, calves, raw feet and shoulder would cope. I loved being on the water and tried out my specially adapted shoes in a hope that the excruciating pain in my legs would not be unbearable. That getting on the water and out in the fresh air would just fill my soul with joy.

The 6km paddle was fantastic. I was slow and steady and the new special shoes helped with the compartment syndrome a bit and I thought that I was turning a corner and could possibly be getting back to the exercise regime I love. That however was not the case when I got up at 2:45 with searing pain throughout my body.

The new meds I have been taking to help with the excruciating nerve pain and lack of sleep have had a dreadful side affect and caused me to have terrible panic attacks and loss of memory. My mind is the sharpest thing I have and I am not ready to have that confused and foggy.

I haven’t written in a while as I have not been able to put into words the challenge and focus it takes every day to keep moving. Living with this level of pain and constant complications wears thin and as a truly active, outgoing and generally upbeat person I am finding it very hard to not be angry.

I find myself having less and less tolerance and being more and more frustrated. I am tired, irritable and basically pissed off. It is hard to explain what it is like to live like this when it just keeps coming. A lot of the time I find myself focused on just smiling and being as upbeat as possible in company as it’s easier than trying to explain to people what’s going on in my body.

I can however say that my determination has not faltered and tomorrow when I face the next barrage of poking and prodding I shall do so with complete faith that something is going to work.

I shall do so with hope and appreciation as I am blessed enough to have incredible doctors and specialists doing all they can. I am blessed enough in this cold wet weather to have a warm home and a roof over my head. I am blessed enough to be surround by amazing friends and family and so much love. I am blessed to have an incredibly strong connection with God and am thankful for every teaching that this journey gives me.

I am blessed as while it is challenging and it is tough. I am ALIVE and breathing. That is a whole lot to be grateful for.

It’s easy to slip into a dark space and victim mode. It’s harder to put on your big girl panties and just keep trying. I however choose to opt for the big girl panties and have complete faith that as frustrating and challenging as this is I get to learn what really matters every second of every day.

So when you start your day do so with gratitude for what is great in your life and you will find that there is so much to be grateful for.