Today as I headed into the hospital for my Biological infusion I was in a dark space. I was on the back of 8 weeks of infections and flares and very very little sleep. Lacking patience, tolerance and generally very grumpy. And if you know me, it’s not my nature to be grumpy too long.
As a person who consciously works on keeping positive and upbeat I find it hard to be low and basically over tired and pretty depressed. I felt like I didn’t know if I could actually pull myself up and give a shit about fighting the pain and infections anymore.
I then got to my doctor and we looked at my scans and X-rays and he could see the desperation in my face and the complete exhaustion and said come on you got this! I know you, you are able to do this. He took time to listen, time to care and he always takes time to make sure all results are checked and rechecked as I am his “challenging case”.
I get weird crazy infections and no matter how hard I try and keep going I keep getting hit with complications. After a final check and seeing how off the charts my inflammation was he made the decision to do the infusion. And has prescribed some serious assisted sleep therapy as the body just has no chance without sleep.
Off I went for my infusion and got put into a ward with the most delightful lady. There she was 90 years old with cancer and pneumonia and the most wicked sense of humour. Perspective I tell you is a true blessing. This wonderful lady (my angel for the day), entertained me and helped me remember what’s important in life.
She was the best medicine for the day. And so as I end my little blog today, I remind myself that while I have more scans and challenges ahead over the next few days, I am ALIVE. I have family, friends and the most incredible team of “Ologists” as I call my Doctors who have complete faith in me. And I have “Got this”
I will get back up on my board and I will get back on the water. I just need to be gentle and kind and remember to laugh ALOT.